The Battle for our Little Ones – Pastor Stacey Shiflett

The Battle for our Little Ones

Wednesday Sermon Series

Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Matthew 18:10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

Matthew 18:14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

Intro: Satan has pulled out all the stops. It’s not just the men, or the ladies, but he’s after the children. We are starting our new school year next week.

You’ll have to fight against:

               A. Those that want to keep them from leaving Egypt – Exodus 10:7-11

Pharaoh didn’t want the men of Israel to take their families with them.

He proposed an arrangement where the men could go and Egypt would babysit their children for them.

  • Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

               B. Those that want to keep them from Canaan – Numbers 32

  • Numbers 32:16 And they came near unto him, and said, We will build sheepfolds here for our cattle, and cities for our little ones:
  • Numbers 32:17 But we ourselves will go ready armed before the children of Israel, until we have brought them unto their place: and our little ones shall dwell in the fenced cities because of the inhabitants of the land.

C. Those that want to keep them from serving God.

  • Matthew 21:15 And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David; they were sore displeased,

I. The Battle to Protect Them

ILLUSTRATION: In Esther, war had been declared against the people of God. It wasn’t just the men, or the soldiers, it was also against their LITTLE ONES.

  • Esther 8:11 Wherein the king granted the Jews which [were] in every city to gather themselves together, and to stand for their life, to destroy, to slay, and to cause to perish, all the power of the people and province that would assault them, [both] little ones and women, and [to take] the spoil of them for a prey,

A. We must protect them from the Access to Secularism

DEFINITION: SECULARISM: secular spirit or tendency, especially a system of political or social philosophy that rejects all forms of religious faith and worship.

the view that public education and other matters of civil policy should be conducted without the introduction of a religious element.

The single greatest threat to our children today is social media and the internet.

The second is Hollywood and television programming, including cartoons.

The language, the innuendos, the vulgarity, and the subliminal messaging is straight out of hell

The third greatest threat to our children is the secular school system.

B. We must protect them from the Approval of Society

Just because our society has deemed something OK doesn’t mean it is.

Our government is hell-bent on destroying the family and our little ones.

The state; the Congress; the Supreme Court are not the final authority. God’s Word is!

Promiscuity

Sixty-seven percent support giving contraceptives to students, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll. 62 percent said they believe providing birth control reduces the number of teenage pregnancies. Still, nearly half of teens aged 15 to 19 report having had lost their virginity and almost 750,000 of them a year become pregnant.

Homosexuality

Same-sex marriage is legal. We must protect our little ones from this abomination.

Cross-dressers and drag queens reading to kids in the library.

Public library is a snare and a trap!

Alcohol

In 2019, 4.2 million young people reported binge drinking at least once in the past month.2

In 2019, 825,000 young people reported binge drinking on 5 or more days over the past month.2

Drugs

Drugs are now legal.

States are decriminalizing cocaine, heroin and meth.

They are now allowing marijuana in the school. READ NEWS REPORTThe administration of medical cannabis to qualifying students during school hours, at school-sponsored activities, and on a school bus is authorized by State law in an effort to facilitate students’ continuity of medical care and access to education. This law ensures that students who are being treated with medical cannabis will be able to attend school and participate in school activities while continuing their treatment, which cannot reasonably be accomplished outside of school hours.

The Battle for our Little Ones

Part 2

               C. Adversary of Socialism

One of the most destructive forces at play in our nation today is socialism.

The false idea that the government should pay for everything.

QUOTES:

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” Margaret Thatcher

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.”Winston Churchill

2 Thessalonians 3

  • 10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
  • 11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.
  • 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.

President Ronald Reagan issued an urgent reminder that “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.”

As Reagan wisely observed: “We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.”

QUOTE: The insidious nature of socialism, cloaked in a façade of compassion, makes it very dangerous to an uneducated and trusting populace. And as socialism creates dependency, it is well on its way to eliminating freedom of choice and incentives for high productivity and innovation.Ben Carson

QUOTE: The national polls continue to show that a large majority of millennials have a favorable view of socialism. A near majority favor the “compassion” of socialism over capitalism which, they argue, is indifferent to the needs of the people, especially those on the bottom rung of the economic ladder.

Would millennials be willing to accept communism with its denial of:

  • free speech
  • a free press
  • free assembly
  • the imprisonment and often execution of dissidents
  • no open elections
  • no independent judiciary or rule of law
  • the dictatorship of the Communist Party in all matters and on all occasions?

This is the communism of China, Cuba, North Korea, Vietnam, Laos and Nicaragua.

This is our challenge: to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about socialism—a pseudo-religion grounded in pseudo-science and enforced by political might. This is our obligation to this generation and generations to come: to make the case against socialism, a god that failed, a science that never was, a political system headed for the ash heap of history. – Lee Edwards

               D. Acceptance of Satanism

Witchcraft, sorcery and magic has infiltrated our children through books, movies, toys and music.

Deuteronomy 18

  • 9  When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.
  • 10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,
  • 11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
  • 12 For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.
  • 13 Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.

Along with other Disney-associated productions such as Maleficent, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, and The Owl House, this new adult cartoon series, Little Demon, is also set in a spiritually demonic realm.

  • Disney describes the storyline as follows: “Thirteen years after being impregnated by Satan, a reluctant mother and her Antichrist daughter attempt to live an ordinary life.” The show makes light of hell and the dangers of the demonic realm. The series focuses on Laura and her daughter, Chrissy, who is the “love child,” produced from her “fling” with Satan.
  • The trailer is filled with satanic imagery, animated gore, and graphic violence, such as beheaded chickens, pentagrams, dismembered bodies, and melting human flesh.
  • Rather than being represented as dangerous, demonic, and terrifying, Satan is depicted as an average, middle-aged, cardigan-wearing suburban dad.

In the book of Acts, when the Ephesians got saved, they abandoned the sorcery and witchcraft.

Acts 19

  • 18 And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds.
  • 19 Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.
  • 20 So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

God’s word says that those that are involved with witchcraft are not going to heaven.

Galatians 5

  • 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
  • 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
  • 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

               E. Association with Scorners

  • Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

There are multitudes of people out there that want to publicly smear and slander God’s people.

That attitude will seep into the hearts and minds of our children and cause them to doubt God and His Word.

It is cool and widely accepted in our society to mock and make fun of Christians.

Our children must be prepared for that and be taught how to deal with it.

               F. Amusement of Sin

  • Proverbs 14:9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

Once Satan ever gets your children to laugh at sin, they will never take it serious again.

ILLUSTRATION:

Genesis 9

  • 20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
  • 21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
  • 22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
  • 23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.
  • 24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
  • 25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

We don’t know what Ham did, but we know what he DIDN’T do.

He didn’t take sin serious enough.

I can only imagine what happened. Knowing young people, he probably went out and made jokes about his dad.

He probably thought it was funny. We can’t be sure.

But one thing is crystal clear – the way he DIDN’T handle it brought a curse on him and his entire family forever.

The Battle for our Little Ones

Part 3

II. The Battle to Parent Them

Proverbs 31

  • 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
  • 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

The word PARENT is a noun, and adjective and a verb.

  • Noun; We are parent.
  • Adjective; We are a parent organization.
  • Verb; We are parenting our children.

This message will deal with the verb usage of the word.

The battle gets greater every day to properly parent our children.

There are a multitude of reasons why it is difficult for many parents to do their job.

               1. Lack of Reference. Many did not have a normal, functional homelife as a point of reference.

               2. Lack of Resources. Many parents have no help and nobody in their life that thinks it is important.

               3. Lack of Reinforcement. Very few people today understand and support proper parenting.

               4. Lack of Reward. We live in a society that is trained to do what benefits us; short-term gratification.

               5. Lack of Reassurance. No matter what I do, my kids will make their own choices and decisions.

The number one reason why many parents neglect their responsibility to parent their children is LAZINESS.

Proverbs 31

  • 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
  • 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

It is hard work. It is time consuming. It is expensive. It is an all day, every-day job.

When you have a child, that child is your responsibility until they leave home.

Biblical parenting requires:

               A. Defined Agenda

What do you want?

What kind of child do you want?

You need to determine your destination, and then map out a course.

  • Psalms 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

There will be obstacles. There will be battles. There will be enemies.

But parents have a duty to raise their children for God – no matter what.

  •  Hebrews 11:23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment.

NOTE: They were more afraid of losing their son than they were of losing their own life.

As parents, you have a responsibility.

It will be easy to delegate or ignore that responsibility, but the life of your child depends on it.

It is your job to raise them. Nobody else’s.

Not the pastor, not the youth pastor, not the school, not your extended family.

It is YOUR job.

               B. Diligent Authority

  • Romans 12:8 …he that ruleth, with diligence…

Children cannot self-govern.

Children will not self-govern.

  • Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

God held Eli accountable for his failure to restrain his sons.

Eli had the responsibility and the authority to do it, but he didn’t.

  • 1 Samuel 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

The Bible makes it crystal clear what Eli’s problem was.

  • 1 Samuel 3:29 Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?

His problem was, he honored his sons above God.

               C. Devoted Attention

In the Bible, we have a story of a set of parents that dropped the ball.

Luke 2

  • 41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.
  • 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
  • 43 And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
  • 44 But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day’s journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.
  • 45 And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
  • 46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

Several things I want to point out in this story.

                              1. Their Abandonment

  • 43as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.

Neglect comes in many forms.

                              2. Their Assumption

Mary and Joseph assumed he was ok.

It never crossed their mind to assume that he had been left behind.

It has been my experience that parents always assume BEST CASE SCENARIO.

They give themselves liberty to relax and enjoy life by assuming he’s going to be fine.

It might be wise to assume the worst.

ILLUSTRATION: Job 1

  • 4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.
  • 5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.

Part 4

Proverbs 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

This week, we will pick back up with The Battle to Parent Them.

Biblical parenting is a job; a huge responsibility.

It is a battle. Not with the children. But many times, with our own ideas of what is really important.

               D. Devout Ambitions

Many parents focus on the financial and physical responsibilities that come with parenting their children.

They are preoccupied with their job, paying for housing, transportation, providing food and clothing.

Taking them to school, helping them with homework.

Signing them up for sports, ball, ballet, karate, music lessons, etc.

All those things constitute an element of parenting that is not emphasized in Scripture AT ALL.

There is very little emphasis in the Bible about making sure your kids are fed and bathed and clothed.

  • It does when describing the Proverbs 31 woman.
  • And 1 Timothy 5:14 “…bear children, guide the house…”

But without debate, much more emphasis is placed on the biblical training of children.

QUESTION: How many hours and dollars are spent in a child’s lifetime taking them to sports practices, ball games, buying them uniforms, attending their events?

How many parents allow their children to miss church to play ball?

  • QUOTE: A “Christian” man that misses church to watch sports is a greater contributor to the downfall of this country than any unsaved person. – Stacey Shiflett

No wonder sports figures are worshipped in this country and preachers are mocked.

No wonder athletes have more influence on society than churches, evangelists and teachers.

We have elevated athletics and sports over God, walking with God and following God.

It’s our fault!

2 Timothy 3

  • 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
  • 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

There is a HUGE emphasis placed on their spiritual development.

There are numerous verses that deal with the heavier and weightier elements of parenting.

That is – the development of their character and the attaining of wisdom.

Most parents are more concerned with developing their child’s athletic ability than their character.

They are more interested in what goes into their belly than what goes into their mind and heart.

There’s nothing more unbiblical than a parent that is obsessed with the physical and not the spiritual.

Parents are more interested in their kid’s socks matching than their profession of faith and their actions matching.

Your boy’s shirt not matching his pants is irrelevant; his attitude not matching his testimony of salvation is huge.

What good is it if your son knows when to lay off a pitch at the plate but can’t refrain from talking in class?

What good is it if your daughter knows how to play the piano but doesn’t know how to act like a lady?

What does it matter if your kids bring home trophies if they are also bringing home demerits for misbehaving?

We’ve got to teach parents that building character, instilling wisdom and focusing on the eternal is a PRIORITY.

God’s word doesn’t say:

  • Fathers, clothe your children.
  • Fathers, feed your children.
  • Fathers, house your children.
  • Father’s bathe your children.

What it DOES say is: Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

If we teach our kids to play but fail to teach them to pray, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we teach them the rules of baseball and soccer but not the rules for life, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we teach them to do their homework, but do not teach them how the home works, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we take them fishing, but never take them fishing for men, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we teach them how to read, but not how to read the Bible, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we teach them how to tackle another person but not their flesh, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we teach them how to defend the ball, but not their faith, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

If we buy them clothes and food and toys and games but do not buy the truth, WE HAVE FAILED OUR CHILDREN!

               E. Disciplined Atmosphere

One of the most important aspects of parenting is discipline.

This requires training.

DEFINITION of DISCIPLINE

  1. training to act in accordance with rules
  2. an activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill; training;
  3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

Children were meant to be TRAINED.

  • Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

NOTE: I have never – once missed a church service or church event because my children couldn’t sit still.

If you miss church events because of your unruly child, YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR CHILD.

Not only are you accommodating their wrong behavior, BUT YOU ARE BLAMING THEM FOR YOUR YOURS.

If I used my children as an excuse to not be faithful to God, I’m afraid He’d take them away from me.

Training involves discipline. Note these passages on the subject:

Proverbs 23

  • 13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
  • 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
  • Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
  • Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
  • Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so [do] stripes the inward parts of the belly.

Children that are undisciplined are children that are unresponsive and uncooperative.

Children that are undisciplined are unlawful, disrespectful and will ultimately curse their parents.

Proverbs 26

  • 2 As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.
  • 3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.

Unruly and disrespectful children might be a common thing today, but there was a day when it was fatal.

When giving the nation of Israel His law:

  • Exodus 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Leviticus 20

  • 8 And ye shall keep my statutes, and do them: I am the LORD which sanctify you.
  • 9 For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.
  • Proverbs 20:20 Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

THE BIBLE IS CLEAR: Chastening produces reverence.

  • Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Allowing a child to pitch a fit, stomp, pout, hit out, talk back, without consequence is unacceptable.

If your child does that ONE SINGLE TIME – address it and fix it RIGHT THEN.

Nothing else matters. Your schedule just changed. Your mission just changed.

Your child will know WHEN they can do it and get away with it.

People say – my child doesn’t do that at home.

First of all, I don’t believe it. They do – you just don’t notice it.

Secondly, they will do it when they can embarrass you and think you can’t respond.

If they misbehave in front of people, they deserve to be rebuked in front of people.

  • Proverbs 27:5 Open rebuke is better than secret love.
  • 1 Timothy 5:20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

ILLUSTRATION: Jesus didn’t pull Peter off to the side to rebuke him. Peter rebuked Jesus front of the whole group. Jesus called Peter out and rebuked him in front of the whole group.

Mark 8

  • 30 And he charged them that they should tell no man of him.
  • 31 And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.
  • 32 And he spake that saying openly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him.
  • 33 But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

               F. Daily Admonition

                              1. Admonish them about OBEYEING

There cannot be enough emphasis placed in the importance of teaching your child to obey.

Allowing them to be disobedient even a little bit is more destructive to them than we can begin to imagine.

NOTE: The first sin committed on the earth was Eve disobeyed God.

  • That one sin cast the entire human race into death and damnation.
  • That one sin unlocked the doors of Hell for the human race.
  • That one sin ended their existing relationship with God.
  • That one sin demanded the crucifixion of the Son of God.
  • That one sin changed everything.

Disobedience is a very serious offense.

Note God’s perspective on this sin.

I Samuel 15

  • 22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
  • 23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
  • Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
  • Colossians 3:20 Children, obey [your] parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

One of the signs of the last days is a list of sins found in 2 Timothy 3:

  • 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
  • 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

As a parent – if you allow your child to disobey – even once – even in small things, you are slowly destroying them.

Ignoring acts of disobedience are one of the most detrimental things you can do to your child.

You are teaching them to rebel; to challenge authority and to falsely assume they can do so without recourse.

In the real world, disobedience has consequences.

If your child can disobey without consequences, you are to blame for their misguided perception of reality.

Part 5

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

                              1. Admonish them about OBEYING (continued)

Teach them to obey the first time they are told.

“Delayed obedience is disobedience.”

Disobedience (the word) is found 13 times in Scripture.

The first time it’s found, it was a man of God. Notice God’s response:

  • 1 Kings 13:26 And when the prophet that brought him back from the way heard thereof, he said, It is the man of God, who was disobedient unto the word of the LORD: therefore the LORD hath delivered him unto the lion, which hath torn him, and slain him, according to the word of the LORD, which he spake unto him.

Teaching your child to obey is a much greater issue than whatever it is you’re telling them to do.

Obedience is the proper response to authority.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines OBEY with the following:

  • To comply with the commands, orders or instructions of a superior, or with the requirements of law, moral, political or municipal; to do that which is commanded or required, or to forbear doing that which is prohibited.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord. Ephesians 6:1.

Servants, obey in all things your masters. Colossians 3:22.

He who has learned to obey, will know how to command.

  • 2. To submit to the government of; to be ruled by.

All Israel obeyed Solomon. 1 Chronicles 29:23; Daniel 7:27.

  • To submit to the direction or control of. Seamen say, the ship will not obey the helm.

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Romans 6:12; 

“Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.” James 3:3.

SEE Romans 1:28-32

I Timothy 1

  • 9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,
  • 10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;

Disobedient to parents is a SERIOUS OFFENCE in the sight of God.

Failure to admonish and train your child to obey is a gross sin.

                              2. Admonish them about OBSERVING

  • Proverbs 3:21 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:
  • Proverbs 5:1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:

One way the word OBSERVE is used is to DO or to FOLLOW a prescribed teaching or doctrine.

OLD TESTAMENT EXAMPLE:

  • Deuteronomy 32:46 And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law.

NEW TESTAMENT EXAMPLE:

  • Matthew 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

The Bible uses the word OBSERVE in several ways.

One usage is to see or to notice.

  • Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.
  • Mark 6:20 For Herod feared John, knowing that he was a just man and an holy, and observed him; and when he heard him, he did many things, and heard him gladly.

3. Admonish them about OBJECTING

  • Proverbs 1:10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
  • Proverbs 4:14 Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.
  • Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Prime examples of parents that taught their children to OBJECT:

1. Joseph

Objected to the Indiscretions of his Family

  • Genesis 37:2 These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.

Objected to the Indulging of his Flesh

Genesis 39

  • 7 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.
  • 8 But he refused…
  • 10 And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.
  • 12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.

2. Daniel

3. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego

Part 6

III. The Battle to Prepare Them

Psalms 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

It is essential that parents understand that we have roughly twenty years to prepare our children for their future.

Arrows were not made to stay in the quiver.

Arrows were not made to stay in the hand.

Arrows were made for a specific purpose and reason.

We can get so busy taking care of the arrows that we forget the day they leave us.

Our children will one day leave us.

Then what?

A. To prepare them for Maturity

I want to look at Daniel 1 and glean some truth from this group of young people.

The children of Israel had taught their young children some things to prepare them for life.

Daniel 1

  • 3 And the king spake unto Ashpenaz the master of his eunuchs, that he should bring certain of the children of Israel, and of the king’s seed, and of the princes;
  • 4 Children in whom was no blemish, but well favoured, and skilful in all wisdom, and cunning in knowledge, and understanding science, and such as had ability in them to stand in the king’s palace, and whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of the Chaldeans.

1. They need to be taught to be RESPONSIBLE.

Teach them how to be responsible in a world that laughs at personal responsibility.

Assuming responsibility is a thing of the past.

  • Romans 14:10 …we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

Teach them to be responsible for their own actions and choices.

  • Blaming their circumstances is not right.
  • Blaming their family is not right.
  • Blaming their church, their pastor or God is not right.

They were in a horrible situation, but they didn’t fall apart and go crazy.

They adapted to their circumstances in spite of the horrific conditions.

2. They need to be taught to be READERS.

Give them a good education in a world that takes advantage of ignorance.

Notice Daniel 1

These young people were exceptional in that they had been taught and were cunning in knowledge.

They understood science. The young people today are not being taught science. Religion has replaced science.

They had the ability to stand in the king’s palace.

There was an emphasis placed on being smart and educated.

We need to make sure that we teach our children to be hungry for knowledge and to strive to excel.2.

3. They need to be taught to RELIABLE.

People today are dishonest and unreliable.

  • Proverbs 25:19 Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.

Teach your children to do what they promise to do.

To keep their word.

To show up for appointments.

To do their job and do it right.

Don’t call in sick three days a week.

Don’t oversleep and forget to set your alarm.

  • 1 Corinthians 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

4. They need to be taught to be RESOURCEFUL.

We live in a world where people throw everything away.

That philosophy bleeds over to their marriage, their family, their church

They are not frugal. They waste everything.

  • Proverbs 18:9 He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.

They blow money on junk. They can’t pay their bills.

They ask everybody for a handout and help.

Teach your child to use what they have and make it work and make it last.

They don’t need a new car. Just fix the one they have.

Teach them to save their money, budget their money. Use it wisely.

Proverbs 24

  • 30 I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding;
  • 31 And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down.
  • 32 Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.
  • 33 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:
  • 34 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.

Part 7

5. They need to be taught to be RECEPTIVE

Proverbs 2

  • 1 My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;
  • 2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
  • 3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
  • 4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
  • 5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
  • James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
  • 1 Thessalonians 2:13 For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.

6. They need to be taught to be RESPONSIVE

It is absolutely essential that we teach our children to be responsive.

First of all, they need to be taught to respond to the voice of God.

  • 1 Samuel 3:9 Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, LORD; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

What a verse! I love that phrase in verse 9… “if he call thee…”
We need to teach our children to be ready IF GOD CALLS THEM.

NOTE: Eli had already experienced the tragedy of God no longer speaking to him.

The lamp of God was gone out. The word of the Lord was precious in those days.

He had taken for granted God speaking to him.

Now God was speaking TO him THROUGH a little boy.

He didn’t want that boy to make the same mistake he had made.

He also didn’t assume that God would speak to Samuel again.

He had already called him twice, but Samuel didn’t know it was the Lord.

  • Acts 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at;…

That is accomplished by simultaneously teaching them to respond to the voice of their parents.

7. They need to be taught to be REASONABLE

REASONABLE: agreeable to reason, following reason, reasonable, logical

We live in a world where reason has been punished and mocked.

The powers that be want you to follow the talking points and current trends, regardless of how illogical it is.

Necessary for JUSTICE AND JUDGMENT to prevail.

2 Thessalonians

  • 1 Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may have free course, and be glorified, even as it is with you:
  • 2 And that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men: for all men have not faith.

God reminds us that serving Him and living for Him is REASONABLE.

  • Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

8. They need to be taught to be REAL.

They didn’t feel the need to fit in with “their own sort.”

They didn’t need to be peer pressured into doing wrong.

  • 1 Timothy 1:5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:

Part 8

B. To PREPARE them for MINISTRY

Exodus 10

  • 8 And Moses and Aaron were brought again unto Pharaoh: and he said unto them, Go, serve the LORD your God: but who are they that shall go?
  • 9 And Moses said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we must hold a feast unto the LORD.
  • 10 And he said unto them, Let the LORD be so with you, as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; for evil is before you.
  • 11 Not so: go now ye that are men, and serve the LORD; for that ye did desire. And they were driven out from Pharaoh’s presence.

Teaching our children to get involved in the work of God is very important to us.

For the work of God to continue, we need to train the next generation for ministry.

The work of God will come to a halt if the next generation does not understand the importance of the ministry.

We cannot settle for little ones that go to church.

We cannot settle for little ones that like church.

We must raise a generation of little ones that realize that they ARE the church.

We must raise a generation of little ones that understand the importance of the local church and its work.

We must raise a generation of little ones that know that church is more than pizza, firepit time and volleyball.

Our little ones must comprehend the enormous weight on their shoulders to finish what their parents and grandparents started.

They must learn how to lead, to teach, to preach, to fulfill the Great Commission, to marry right and raise godly families.

They must be taught how to further the ministry; the work of God; to contend for the faith that was once delivered unto the saints.

They must be equipped to stand and to withstand in the evil day; to maximize our impact and influence in the world.

Our little ones must be prepared for a life of ministry.

Examples of little one’s that had preparation for ministry:

  • Abraham took Isaac up to worship. – Genesis 22:5
  • David learned to play the harp and sing psalms to the Lord. – 1 Samuel 16:23
  • Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught him the Scriptures early in life. – 2 Timothy 3:15
  • Jesus was busy “about the Father’s business” at the age of twelve. – Luke 2:49

1. They need to be taught what it means to be Spiritual

  • Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work [be] pure, and whether [it be] right.

Pursuing a Spirit-filled life is essential before anything else is taught or emphasized.

ILLUSTRATION:

  • Josiah was king at age eight, started seeking after the God of David his father at the age of 16, and just a few years later cleansed the land of idol worship. – 2 Chronicles 34:1

They need to be taught to understand what it means to walk in the Spirit.

They need to be taught to discern between spiritual and carnal.

They need to be taught to know what it means to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and yield to Him.

They need to be taught to desire a deeper, more meaningful walk with God and value it more than anything.

They need to see Spirit-filled men and women modeling the Spirit-filled life.

They need to be in a church where the Holy Spirit is not grieved or quenched.

They need to experience old fashion Holy Ghost conviction and moving.

They see carnality everywhere, in everybody, all day, every day.

They need to experience the power of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people that preaches to them.

They need to witness the power of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people that teaches the Bible to them.

They need to see the power of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people they go to church with.

2. They need to be taught what it means to be Surrendered

Genesis 22

  • 9 And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.
  • 10 And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

Allowing God to dictate the path they take, and their future and goals.

Learning to follow God’s will and to let Him truly be the Lord of their life.

They need to be taught what it means to deny self, crucify the flesh, and to be yielded completely to God.

3. They need to be taught what it means to be a Servant

The key to being truly happy is to learn what it means to serve others.

Most children are babied and pampered and waited on hand and foot for the first ten to fifteen years of their life.

They have no idea what it means to put others first.

They have no concept of getting the smallest piece, getting in the back of the line. Waiting for others to go first.

They are rewarded for whining, complaining, griping, moping, crying and pitching fits from the day they’re born.

  • Samuel the child ministered before the Lord. – 1 Samuel 2:18
  • The little maid of Naaman’s wife was concerned about him. – 2 Kings 5:2

The little lad with the lunch learned to contribute sacrificially to meet the needs of others. – John 6:9

Part 9

4. They need to be taught what it means to be Sacrificial

Every Christian has been called to live a life of sacrifice.

We are told to sacrifice OURSELVES.

  • Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

But without a doubt, every person in ministry should understand what it means to sacrifice.

  • DEFINITION of SACRIFICE: the forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have greater value or claim

Our children need to be taught that the Christianity that Jesus demonstrated and demanded involves sacrifice.

  • Luke 14:33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

I have been in church for over 50 years.

Never before have I seen a more self-centered, entitled breed of Christianity that we have today.

The majority of so-called Christians have no idea what it means to take up their cross and follow Jesus.

The ministry is not a place for an attitude of entitlement.

Many people’s idea of church is to come in, sit down, and wait to be served like it’s a restaurant.

Many people look at church like it’s the sprinkles on top of their cupcake; they can take it or leave it.

In case you think I’m being overly negative or speaking in generalities that are unrealistic, note Paul’s words:

  • Philippians 2:21 For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.

Sacrifice means realizing that God has complete Lordship and ownership in our life and we owe Him everything.

Sacrifice means pleasing God and not ourselves. (Philippians

Sacrifice means being dead to self.

Sacrifice means not thinking about yourself.

Sacrifice means putting others and their needs first.

Sacrifice means taking ownership of anything wrong in the church and doing everything within your power to fix it.

Sacrifice means not making excuses when there is a need; but making every effort possible to meet that need.

Sacrifice means being the first to volunteer and being the hardest worker.

Sacrifice means not looking for a way to get out of ministry, but looking for a way to get in.

5. They need to be taught what it means to be Sober Minded

The Bible is crystal clear about the importance of being sober minded for ministry.

When most people think of sober, they think of the opposite of drunk.

That’s not what this word means.

SOBER: GREEK: 4998 σώφρων sophron so’-frone

1) of a sound mind, sane, in one’s senses

2) curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate

The ministry is no place for people with lack of self-control, lack of a sound mind, one that is senseless.

To prepare our children for ministry, we need to teach them what biblical soberness is.

To prepare our children for ministry, we need to demonstrate and teach soberness.

It is one of the qualifications of the bishop.

  • 1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

It is one of the qualifications of the deacon’s wife.

  • 1 Timothy 3:11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

It is commanded of the aged men.

  • Titus 2:2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

It is commanded that the aged women teach it to the young women.

  • Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

It is commanded of the young men.

  • Titus 2:6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

6. They need to be taught what it means to be Soul Conscious

One of the greatest mysteries to me is how a person can think they are ministry minded if they are not soul conscious.

One of the main aspects of ministry is being actively involved in seeing people saved.

There are children in the church that have been to an Orioles game but have never been taken soulwinning.

There are children in the church that have been fishing but never been fishing for men.

I started going soulwinning when I was about seven years old.

I won my first convert to Christ when I was only eleven.

We took our children soulwinning in a baby stroller.

Soulwinning has been a weekly, family activity for us for over twenty-five years.

If our children can see the results and the effects of a life of sin, it might keep them from chasing it.

If our children can be a part of the cure for the sin-sick society we live in, they may survive the all-out attacks.

Part 10

We’ve already covered:

A. Prepare them for Maturity

B. Prepare them for Ministry

Tonight, we will deal with:

C. Prepare them for Marriage

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

One of the greatest yet most neglected roles of a parent is to prepare our children for marriage.

One day, our son will be a husband; our daughter will be a wife.

Our children will be the parents of our grandchildren.

This fact should fill our hearts with a soberness and an awareness of our huge responsibility.

The way we treat our children, the way we train them and the way we teach them matters!

Who our children choose for mates will be largely dependent on our deliberate and dedicated training.

There are many aspects that we could get into in this series, but I’ll try to condense it.

               1. They need to be taught Biblical Integrity

The most valuable thing you and I can teach our children is to have integrity.

INTEGRITY:

  1. Wholeness; entireness; unbroken state.
  2. The entire, unimpaired state of any thing, particularly of the mind; moral soundness or purity; incorruptness; uprightness; honesty. integrity comprehends the whole moral character
  3. Purity; genuine, unadulterated, unimpaired state;

David said it like this:

  • Psalms 119:34 Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.

ILLUSTRATION: Sometimes when we were building a house, we would grab a board to use. We would notice sometimes that it might have a knot, or a crack, or a saw cut in it. Depending on what it was being used for, we couldn’t use it because that defect in the board would affect the integrity of that piece of lumber. It was going to be weak in that spot. It would be easily broken if pressure was applied to that area.

The word INTEGRITY means whole; entire; unbroken state.

Our children need to be raised to value personal integrity; not just in themselves but in others.

Your son deserves to marry a whole and entire woman; not the scraps.

Your daughter deserves to marry a man that is pure; genuine; morally sound and incorrupt; not the fragments.

We should strive to raise children that will be able to give their husband and their wife EVERYTHING; not the leftovers.

So many marriages are broken and dysfunctional because those in the marriage gave all the good stuff away BEFORE they were ever married.

Learning what it means to be a man or lady of character is so very important.

Their walk with God will not just be a personal relationship; it will affect their wife’s or husband’s walk with God.

When a couple gets married, they become one.

It is impossible for a marriage to survive when character and integrity crumbles.

We need to teach our children to do right without anybody else standing with them BEFORE they get married.

  • Daniel 1:8 But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.

2. They need to be taught Biblical Ideology

The word IDEOLOGY is a relatively new word.

It is not even found in the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary.

But the word IDEOLOGY means: the body of doctrine, myth, belief, etc., that guides an individual, social movement, institution, class, or large group.

It is absolutely imperative that we instill within our young people the right ideology; system of beliefs and doctrines.

If our kids are not anchored firmly in the doctrines and beliefs of scripture, they won’t survive this world.

The world’s definition of love, marriage, their standard for developing and maintaining relationships are toxic.

Our young people need to have more than a superficial understanding of the Bible.

They need to be firmly grounded – unmovable – unshakable – uncompromising in their ideology.

People are leaving solid, Bible-believing churches to go to non-denominational, progressive, woke, apostate churches.

Young people are walking away from truth in droves and embracing liberal, worldly and unbiblical ideology.

Part 11

              

               3. They need to be taught Biblical Intimacy

  • Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

The world has so grossly distorted God’s design for intimacy until it is barely recognizable.

It is the responsibility of every parent to accomplish several key things when teaching their children.

a. Determination for Purity

Teach them to value purity.

Teach them to value virginity.

Teach them to save themselves for their spouse, pray for God’s leadership and wait on the right one.

There is a word in the Bible that describes the world’s mindset and culture when it comes to intimacy.

It is the word lasciviousness.

LASCIVIOUSNESS unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness, lasciviousness, wantonness, outrageousness, shamelessness, insolence

Ephesians 4

  • 17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,
  • 18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:
  • 19 Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
  • 20 But ye have not so learned Christ;

Galatians 5

  • 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
  • 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
  • 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

b. Distance from Promiscuity

The world around us has glorified and promoted promiscuity for decades.

Our society has distorted, perverted and corrupted God’s plan for intimacy in every possible way.

They have been relentless and deliberate in this endeavor.

The indoctrination begins early with cartoons and children’s TV programs.

The desensitizing of children toward perversion and depravity is an agenda that is indisputable.

Sexual promiscuity is in video games, TV shows, movies, social media and music.

c. Deliberate with Parameters

You and I cannot remain pure without living deliberately and purposefully putting up some boundaries in our life.

The greatest ally of our young people is accountability and biblical parameters.

Set them, based on Bible principles, AND THEN DON’T MOVE THEM!

It is up to the parents to put those safeguards in place early on.

The television is the greatest and earliest tool of Satan to begin dismantling Biblical intimacy in children’s mind.

The commercials today are worse than many of the TV programs were back in the 70’s.

And my dad threw the TV out of our house in the mid 70’s.

Hallmark is now promoting the sodomite lifestyle on their channel.

Nearly ever TV program in some way shape or form promotes fornication, adultery, sodomy and perversion.

Any parent that would put a TV in their kid’s bedroom with access to cable TV is just brain dead.

Young people can access sexual promiscuity in so many places its impossible to name them all.

Cellphones, iPads, laptops and computers has been the downfall of today’s morality.

Video games where your child can interact with a complete stranger in their room with their headphones on.

Do you have any idea how many pedophiles use gaming to target, groom and exploit children.

Video games with explicit language and scantily clad women.

Teenage boys locked in their bedrooms all hours of the night watching this filth and feeding their lusts.

Parents are oblivious.

Pandora, Spotify, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and the list goes on and on.

The amount of inexplicable obscenities that kids have access to in our world today is mind boggling.

Children see and hear things that many of us never knew about until we were adults.

Their innocence is stripped of them years and years before they are capable of knowing about these things.

Young people text each other inappropriate and ungodly things.

Taking pictures of themselves and sending it to others.

Video calling, Facetiming and removing every single boundary and gudineline imaginable.

Verses that deal with God’s parameters for intimacy.

Proverbs 7

  • 24 Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.
  • 25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.
  • 26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.
  • 27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Corinthians 7

  • 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
  • 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Turn to Proverbs 6:23-35

Part 12

Intro: We have already looked at three important areas where our children need to be prepared for marriage.

They need to be taught:

1. Biblical Integrity

2. Biblical Ideology

3. Biblical Intimacy

Tonight, we will continue with this list of things that we need to do to prepare our children for marriage.

They need to be taught:

­               4. Biblical Independence – a person that cannot pay their own way has no business getting married.

When I say independence, I mean a biblical, God-ordained level of self-sufficiency and independence.

Not from God; not from authority; not from accountability, but in a way that lines up with Scripture.

So many young people get married and then they think they are free.

They are “on their own” and do not have to answer to anybody.

Nowhere in the Bible do we find that kind of independence.

A married couple is still dependent upon God.

They still need the church.

They still need a pastor.

They still need accountability and spiritual relationships around them.

They still need to be accountable to God, each other, and to their local church.

What I’m preaching about is the importance of training and teaching your children to one day be independent.

The Bible is clear – both Old and New Testament, that they are to LEAVE their father and mother.

This notion that you can get married and be a parasite and stay with your parents is unbiblical.

  • Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

We find Jesus referred to this in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7.

The Apostle Paul quoted this verse in Ephesians 5:31.

That word “leave” literally means to forsake; to leave behind; to abandon.

A person that is not capable of paying their own way and providing for themselves is not ready for marriage.

Any parent that would consent to their children getting married and living with them and living off of them is doing their child a huge disservice.

You are enabling a welfare mentality.

There is no dignity in having to depend on others for your very survival.

The Bible also teaches us to work with our own hands.

I Thessalonians 4

  • 11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
  • 12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

5. Biblical Immunity – this means we are in the world but not of the world.

It should be our goal to raise children that are immune to:

                              a. the deception of the world

  • Colossians 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

2 Timothy 3

  • 13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
  • 14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
  • 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

                              b. the defilement of the world

  • Daniel 1:8 But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.

                              c. the darkness of the world

  • Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

I Thessalonians 5

  • 4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.
  • 5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.

John 17

  • 14 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
  • 15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
  • 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
  • 17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

I John 2

  • 15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
  • 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
  • 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

6. Biblical Influence

Before getting married, both the man and the woman need to understand the power they have to influence each other as well as their children.

They need to be taught the biblical parameters of that influence and how to use it the right way.

The Man:

The man should be prepared to lead his wife.

  • Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

If he’s not a leader before he gets married, he will definitely not be a leader afterwards.

I’ve yet to meet the woman that made a weak husband a strong leader.

When there is a leadership vacuum in the home, someone will fill it; either the wife or the children.

A boy should be taught to lead long before he is married.

Our young men need to be taught to lead their home spiritually, lovingly and to protect their family.

Use their influence to create an environment that is spiritual, safe and peaceful.

ILLUSTRATION: We just looked at Daniel in Daniel chapter 1.

He was exercising his influence and leadership as a child long before he influenced the four kings he later served under.

The Woman:

The wife needs to learn how to use her amazing and powerful influence in a biblical way.

Thank God for our wives!! Thank God for their influence and help in the home.

The Bible says a lot about the woman’s influence in Proverbs 31.

The New Testament is also clear about the importance of the woman’s influence in the home.

She leads and guides her house.

  • 1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

The Greek word for “guide the house” is oikodespoteo which means to rule a household, manage family affairs

Nowhere in the Bible is the woman instructed to influence her husband or her children with nagging.

  • Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
  • Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

Brawling: strife, contention

  • Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
  • Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.